He Rubbed Her Feet and Watched Her Sleep: The Dark Truth Behind 'Undying Love'

The journal entry begins with a memory of a time before the son was born. The narrator recalls a period of pure happiness, where the partner’s smile was the only thing visible. He describes their connection as perfect, a future filled with lazy Sundays and weekend trips.

However, the tone shifts when he mentions the time before he opened the door. The partner had spent nine months despondent and broken, keeping a child she never wanted for the reputation of a family she hated. While she smiled and chattered at parties, the narrator could see her true state when they returned home, standing in the kitchen weeping for a future she would never get.

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The narrator claims to know the real reason for her unhappiness. He suggests she didn’t just want a different house or car, but a different partner. He describes himself as the dye that colored the dress she lived in, a color she secretly hated. He had to watch the wonderful parts of her rot under the weight of the life growing in her belly.

Now, the narrator looks into her eyes and sees a doll. He describes her as a disgrace of a mother, someone who doesn’t care if their son cries or sits in his diaper for hours. He comes home to feed them both because she is too sad to do it. He notes that he never tells her this to her face but writes it in the journal.

The narrator contrasts this with his own mother, who always smiled for him, and his father, who made sure of it. He now brushes her hair and rubs her feet just like his father used to. He bought a special brush for her, but she doesn’t care. He spends money on fancy perfumes and new clothes, but she just sits there and judges him.

He recalls the night they met at the bar. He saw love in her eyes, felt it on her breath, and tasted it on her kiss. They talked about a song they both loved, and he believed it was meant to be. He remembers her hand on his hand, arm, and thigh all night. He interprets this as her wanting all of this, even though she called it a hookup.

This leads to the pivotal moment: he slipped the condom off that night. He believes she wanted him to, she just didn’t know how to say it. He thought she would thank him one day and be happy. He still does.

When they got home, she held the baby across her chest in the bathtub, trying to love him. She was trying to find the warmth in her heart for the life she created. The narrator had to stand inside and make sure she didn’t let the baby slip under the water. He calls her a bad mother.

He claims she became a bad mother the day he opened the door and saw her bag. He says she decided to shatter a family for personal greed. He lists her complaints: the trailer is too small, the place is too dirty, the plumbing doesn’t work. He says he is not safe for a child, he disappears at night, and he watches her sleep. He dismisses these as complaints and lies from a brain destroyed by postpartum.

He doesn’t remember what she did, just the sound of her back against the corner of the nightstand. That pop bounced around the walls for what felt like hours. He still doesn’t know what it was, but she got so sad after it happened. She won’t move, won’t talk, and won’t even play with her son.

All she does is cry. Not even with her whole face, just her eyes. She cries when he carries her from room to room, when he feeds her, when he changes her panties. She cries when he brushes her hair or rubs her feet. She cries when they make love every night. She even cries when she holds their son.

The narrator doesn’t know why she cries. Maybe in a few months he’ll be able to save up and buy them a TV. Maybe that new swell in her belly will be the thing to finally make her talk to him again. But until then, they have everything they need: the routine, the babies, and his undying love for her.

The show’s hosts dig into this story on the podcast, debating whether the narrator’s love is genuine or a form of control.